Coming Out of the Fog: Purpose and Power in Christ
For years I lived in an abusive marriage. It was like being on an emotional roller coaster while immersed in a dense fog. There were extreme highs and lows. I would hang on to those highs in hopes that things would improve. The fog was an overall feeling of confusion, powerlessness, and just a strong sense that something was horribly wrong. No matter what I did, I struggled to see any way out. I started to think it was ME. That there was something wrong with me, and that if I only tried harder, I could fix whatever the problem was. But trying harder didn’t fix the problem. I felt trapped, hopeless, and scared for my future.
I remember my husband telling me that my relationship with God wasn’t good enough, and that the problems in our marriage were because of me. He left our faith and would question me daily about mine. What did I really believe? Did I want to follow him out of our faith? What made my relationship with God any different than his? He professed to love me and yet questioned everything about me, including my personal relationship with Christ.
One day, after my husband told me that my relationship with Christ wasn’t good enough, I was sitting in the living room after he had left for work, journaling. I sat thinking, praying, and pleading to God to understand why he felt the need to treat me this way. His constant need to try and define me left me feeling powerless and immobile in my life. The fog was so thick, and I had never felt more confused. It was sitting on that couch in tears when the most miraculous thing happened: I felt God’s love. It was this extremely visceral feeling, and I knew in a very real way, that God knew ME, loved ME, and would help me create the life that I so desperately needed for myself and my children.
That experience was a turning point in my own relationship with Christ. I regained my power as a daughter of God because I could feel His love for me personally. For the first time in a long time, I felt strong enough to redefine my relationship with Christ for myself. So much power and focus has come into my life since then, including the ability to leave my husband and start anew. I found my purpose, and I found the ability to act. I found my way out of the dense fog by centering my life on Christ.
This incredible lesson is one I have learned and want to share with you: Christ gives you POWER, and there is no greater thing as a woman than that of your relationship with Christ. YOU get to define that, not anyone else. It refines your character, gives you purpose, power, and the ability to create a vision for your life that is unique to you. Your purpose is every bit as worthy as anyone else’s. It’s what God wants for his daughters—He wants strong women who are centered on Him. He wants women who know their worth, who believe it, own it, and who design a unique life that is centered on Him.
If you find yourself in a situation in any way similar to mine, you may feel like this is completely impossible. How do you regain your power and purpose when all you have to do is look at your phone or listen to the critical voice in your head to know that you’re doing it wrong or that you aren’t measuring up? With everyone else’s lives in your face, it’s so incredibly easy to forget what God wants for YOU. Yes, YOU.
My answer to you is this: Christ wants you to get to know Him, because in doing so, you will be able to find your unique purpose on this earth, as well as the ability to create it. As He says in Matthew 11:
Come unto me, all ye that labour and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you, and learn of me, for I am meek and lowly in heart: and ye shall find rest unto your souls.
The more you give your power to someone else, the more hopeless you feel. The more you give someone power to define you, the more afraid you feel to act. Instead of fulfilling your unique mission and purpose, you sit. You wait. You don’t move. You may even sink into depression. You feel afraid to do and be what God wants you to be.
But turning your eyes to focus on Christ brings that power back to your life. Stop looking at what everyone else is doing or not doing. Stop judging yourself for what you are doing or not doing and simply get to know God. Only one thing truly matters, and that is getting to know God. Learn of him. Study about Him. The more you do this one thing, the more you will find YOUR purpose, YOUR vision for your life, and what God wants for YOU.
Callie is a single mother to three brilliant, strong-willed children. She recently moved back to Utah after living in Eugene, Oregon, and before that, London England! She loves interior design, spin class, and creating beautiful spaces. She is passionate about helping women find their inner voice and create lives that reflect their love for God, themselves, and others.